Living With My Host Family
A huge part of my year abroad is living with my host family. It was a significant appeal to me when deciding on study abroad! I’d been living in a dorm for the past two years and I lacked feeling truly at home. And even when I did live at home, I never had a “normal” family life like my friends and classmates. My mom is a single mom and has always worked to provide what two parents would usually do together. I also have two half-siblings, who are the best people in the world, but we don’t live together in the same household. I love my mom and our moments of just the two of us, but I always felt lonely and embarrassed when my family was brought up in a conversation, or when I would hear friends’ stories about family game nights or vacations. When researching my study abroad program, I was really intrigued about the opportunity to live with a host family. For a year I could experience a completely different family life than my own while still having my family at home. Living in a French home would also give me the most authentic perspective of life in France, so it was a yes for me!
In the spring before arriving in France, I received a host family form to help place me in my new family. You list your preferences, and important information about you: personality, dietary restrictions, allergies, culture, hopes for the year, etc. I also had the option to request if I wanted host siblings, two parents in the household, and pets in the house. I wanted this experience to be completely different from my life at home, so I requested to have siblings and two parents in the house. I received a letter with information about my new family in the summer, and that’s when it somewhat felt like France was seriously a go!
I have a host mom, a host dad, and four host siblings: a 22 year old brother, a 21 year old brother, a 17 year old sister, and a 14 year old brother!
So the initial meeting of my family? I contemplated this a lot before actually meeting them, wondering if the moment would be awkward, strange, happy, or neutral. My host mom picked me up once I arrived to my school in Rennes. She had a big smile and took me in for a hug, I instantly felt very welcomed. The drive home completely speaking in French went smoothly, even after not studying the language all summer. Stepping into my house for the first time, I met the rest of my family, it was a happy and lively moment which I’ll never forget; they were so welcoming to me in making me apart of the family. My first dinner with my family had it’s moments of confusion with language, but everyone in my family knows a little bit of English which is helpful when I get really stuck. I gave them some gifts from home: a puzzle of Newport Beach, caramels, beach hats, and chopstick sets. When I think of host families and the way they willingly add another addition to their family for a year, it wows me, and makes me so grateful.
During my first few days in the house, I felt really nervous to do anything: I showered after everyone went to bed, only ate whatever was reachable on the table, and crept like a cat. It’s now been a few weeks and most of that apprehension has gone away, but I still don’t feel 100% at home all the time, which is okay. Before actually arriving in France, I envisioned that I would instantly feel at home, but that definitely hasn’t been the case. And that’s the way life is! Nothing will be instantly perfect at first, so I’m just going with the flow of becoming comfortable and acquainted.
There are definitely lots of awkward moments of silence, times when I don’t understand and just say “d’accord!”, and moments when I feel like a guest rather than a family member. But you have to understand that it’s not only unusual for you to live in a brand new home; It’s also odd for your family to suddenly welcome a stranger into their home, whether it’s their first or tenth time hosting. Some days I really feel apart of the conversation, actively engaging, laughing and feeling at ease. Other days I’m quietly listening since I don’t have the vocabulary to chime in yet. Both are okay, and both are progress.
When it comes to living with host families, only your own personal experience will tell its story. And what you put in is what you receive! You will learn so much just by solely living with a host family, so really appreciate them for volunteering to host you. Engage with them, and don’t be afraid to teach them about your upbringing and culture as well. They want to have you apart of their home, so give them the same respect and enthusiasm. Biological or not, they are your family for however long you are studying abroad, make the most with them!
